Clothing Contortions

Even though I had reservations, I bought a one piece Zoot tri suit that was on an incredible sale. I thought I could use it for sprints and most importantly, it was pink. So I go to try on the suit and after I wriggle myself into it, I realize the back feels funny. So I wriggle (not a pretty picture) back out and realize it has a built in sports bra. Very clever idea……except how in the hell do I get in a one piece tri suit and also get my head through the sports bra? I am sure there is a reasonable way to do it because obviously people get in them all of time. I am apparently just stupid when it comes to putting on my clothes. I have only had 29 years of experience, but this is just beyond me. While I do not have actual pictures of the way I tried to contort myself in order to make this work, here are some examples. I had to use cats because when you type “body contortions” into google, you get more porn than anything else. (I know you are all going and searching it right now to see if I am telling the truth. Perverts.)



I have given up wearing it at this point unless someone has some great ideas. I guess I can always get the scissors out. Most likely, I will just wear my bike shorts for the tri this weekend and be happy with that. I will save the tri suit for a later date when I can practice more in it and be sure to be comfortable. In a positive light though, I was able to get some awesome stretching done while trying to get in and out of the suit. I have to say there was one very terrifying point when I thought I was really stuck in the stupid thing and I was going to have to call someone to come over and cut me out. No one ever told me that the hardest part of triathlon would be getting dressed.

EDIT: With help of a friend, I finally figured out how to get into the suit. I am still not wearing it until I do some modifications and take out the built in sports bra. I also discovered that the sides are all see through mesh and while not totally modest, I just can't do that quite yet.