Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Demon Kitten (aka why the kitten and I are getting a divorce)

I had a really good workout today although it did end up to be a little longer than I had planned. I have one friend that will ride with me as long as we don't go too far and basically just have fun with it. And that is great and perfect with me because just having the companionship is nice. It is possible though that I will never, ever get to choose the route we take again. Normally, we do the same little loop every time we ride, but today I wanted to mix it up and go off a different way that was marked as a bike route. Really, in all fairness to me, it was a great ride. We saw parts of our city neither one of us have ever seen before. I really thought the best part of the ride was seeing how decorative people could be when putting bars on their windows. We probably ended up going about 10 miles more than my friend wanted to do, but we both agreed it was a ride we would want to again....with mace. And maybe riot gear.

By the time I got back to my car, the sun was setting but I still wanted to go for a run while I was already out so I took off intending to go a few miles. I had only gone a little over half a mile when I realized the sun was not setting, but had in fact set and I was out in the middle of nowhere running all alone in park that is not the best place to be after dark. Actually, it is probably not always a great place to be in the daylight either. It is amazing how your imagination can start to go a little wild. What started out as a run ended up to be a sprint back to the car and as I ran, I kept a close eye on the lake. I am not sure if I expected something to rise out of it to try to get me or if that would just be a good place for some criminal to drag my lifeless body, but either way....that lake really bothered me. Obviously though, I did make it back safe and sound. Next time earlier start and better planning.

Now, on to the kitten drama. I would like to point out that this is a joint custody kitten. I share her with my boyfriend. He gets her during the week and I get her on the weekends. (ahem...dearest...I know you read this. It is Wednesday.....and I still have the kitten. Pretty soon we are either going to start talking child support or we are going to have to go back to court on this one.)

Anyways, this adorable creature (her name is Sweeny Todd, the demon kitten of Flint Street) is her most affectionate at about 4am and loves to give kisses...right on the lips. Not the kind of kissing one hope to be awakened with for sure. If you spurn her affections, she becomes like a demon obsessed and must at all costs get back to those lips. So this is why I found myself at 4am hiding under my covers from the cat. I have found that if I wrap myself up really tightly, she can't get under the covers however there is a small problem with breathing. Usually at this point though, passing out from lack of air is close enough to sleeping that I would take it. Last night she got smart though and so instead of trying to get under the covers to attack me, she went for an aerial attack in order to drive me out. I am not sure what object she lept off of in order to get that kind of impact, but it was fairly impressive that a six month old cat could slam into my face with that much force. I bolted up in bed and began a verbal assault on the cat....whose job was apparently done at this point because after a small giggle from her, she curled up and went to sleep.

Now, on to tonight. I come back from not being murdered and find the new Runners World in the mailbox. I love magazine day and Runners World is really high up there on the list. After my workout I felt like quiet bath time reading my magazine would be well deserved. (Have I mentioned that the kitten is also obsessed with the bathtub and the toilet? As in, forget privacy. Ever.) Right about the time I am about the get in the tub, the door starts rattling. She has figured out that she can put her paw under the door and then shake it really hard and if she does it long enough, I will let her into where ever I have denied her access. Tonight is my tranquil bath night though and since I did not want to listen to a door rattling all night, I let the stupid beast in. Then the game starts because I am obviously not paying attention to her. First she reaches into the tub just enough to bat at the pages of my magazine. I can ignore that. Then she starts dipping her paw into the tub and splashing me just a little. I can ignore that as long as she does not get my new magazine wet. Finally, she realizes she is getting nowhere by being subtle. This is obviously a time for action. Not wanting to get fully soaked, she decides the best plan of action is to leap from the side of the tub onto me. Again, while I am still in the bathtub. Of course, doing this kind of feat does require the usage of claws for balance and upon bare skin, completely unappreciated by me. Needless to say, the next few minutes involve lots of shrieking, splashing, and ended up with the cat being chased out of the bathroom. I swear I heard her and the other cats laughing. So ends the tranquil bath. Stupid kitten.

Does this not look like the face of pure evil?


BettyBetty said...

Awwww, what a cute kitty! They are quite devilish at that age...I remember! I think my puppy and your kitten would have a ball.

Renee said...

Do you think your puppy would like her for a snack? Because I can send her through the mail! :) Sadly though, she has all of the dogs in the house completely whipped so I would hate to see what damage she would do to your sweet innocent puppy.

Judi said...

Cute kitten. I wish I could have cats....Ari and Lucy would eat them.

Good job running after the ride, even if it was a short one. I run in some bad areas too, but I usually carry a stun gun.

Leah said...

Really funny post! I had a cat once who was like that. It really drove me crazy, as cute as he was. They slow down with age, but that usually takes a few years. ;)

Anonymous said...

Oh yes, pure can tell ;-)

I had a couple of cats, one that sounds just like yours! For some reason, he was my favorite :)

margo said...

oh. my. gosh. that kitten is the cutest!!! my cat used to do the balancing act on the side of the tub but she also had no feeling in her tail so she would get it soaking wet every time.

she was also a hermaphrodite. another story for another day. life is never dull.